The Prep Marriage
Unless you’re that one-in-a-million “unicorn couple” who’s truly never hit seasons of boredom, resentment, or questioning—this space is for you. And if you’re someone who can’t handle the real truths behind long-term marriage? Then The Prep Marriage probably isn’t for you either.
I’m not a professional. I don’t claim expertise. What I do have is lived experience—my own, the stories from women I know, and the conversations I hear whispered in kitchens, gyms, mom groups, happy hours, and yes, on every women’s podcast where we say the quiet parts out loud. That’s the soil The Prep Marriage grew from.
Before we get into it, here are a few grounding statistics:
41% of first marriages end in divorce
70% of those divorces are initiated by women
And among college-educated women? 90% are the ones filing
Why? Let’s talk about it.
We’re raised on a timeline. Graduate high school. Go to college. Get the job. Fall in love. Marry. Have kids. Check, check, check. Society loves a checklist for women—especially when it comes to marriage and motherhood. And we absorb that pressure. We internalize the idea that we should “settle down” young enough to start a family, before the clock runs out or before we’re deemed “too old.”
So we enter marriage with starry eyes and genuine love. We say yes because we care, because we believe in the future we’re building, and because it feels like the next big milestone of adulthood. Everyone around us is doing it—so why wouldn’t we?
But what people don’t think about in their twenties is how much they’re still becoming. At that age, we imagine the long-term picture of waking up next to someone forever, but not the long-term picture of how we will evolve. Because we do. Our needs change. Our values sharpen. Our identities deepen.
Once your frontal cortex fully develops—your late twenties, early thirties—something shifts. The person your 22-year-old self chose may not be the person your 32-year-old self needs. And when those needs go unmet long enough, stagnation creeps in. Boredom. Disconnection. The quiet sense of “Is this it?”
Many couples begin surviving instead of living. They stay for the kids, for stability, for routine. But internally, they’re asking, Who did I marry? And who have I become? Somewhere between building a home, raising a family, and trying to be everything to everyone, many women lose the thread of who they are.
And this hits women particularly hard. As the conversations on women-led podcasts keep revealing, something ignites in a woman during her thirties. Maybe it’s independence. Maybe self-awareness. Maybe the growing realization that emotional intimacy, depth, and connection are non-negotiables—and often absent. Many women begin experiencing what we jokingly call “the ick,” but it’s deeper than that. It’s the discomfort of growing bigger inside a life that no longer fits.
Which leads to The Prep Marriage.
Your first marriage? It’s often the marriage you enter before you fully know yourself. You do all the “right” things—say “I do,” buy the house, have the kids, build the careers. You make it work. You survive on habit. You sacrifice your young adult years on something that once made sense but no longer aligns with your evolved self.
The Prep Marriage is the marriage that matures you. That cracks you open. That forces you to confront the parts of yourself you once silenced. It teaches you what you want, what you can’t tolerate, what you need emotionally, sexually, spiritually. It’s the chapter that shapes you for what comes next—even if what comes next isn’t with the same partner.
Because when the time comes for your next commitment—whether that’s with a new partner or a renewed version of yourself—you’re no longer rushing to meet a societal timeline. You’re choosing intentionally. Slowly. Consciously.
Now, you’re looking for someone who fits your boxes—and whose boxes you genuinely fit into. Not because your friends are settling down. Not because you’re “supposed to.” But because you finally know who you are, and you’re no longer afraid to honor that.
Sure, second marriages statistically can also fail. But as Todd Chrisley said, sometimes you do find the one who checks every box. The one you don’t get bored of after 20 years. The one where you’re not just surviving—you’re actually living. It happens. More than people admit out loud.
That’s what The Prep Marriage is about.
It’s not bitterness.
It’s not regret.
It’s evolution.
I genuinely believe there’s someone out there meant for you—someone aligned with the woman you’ve become, not the girl you once were. And that person doesn’t have to be your first choice.
The Prep Marriage is simply the one that prepared you.
